Macovei Anda

I’ve been thinking about how my past self used to be and holy shit have I came to the best realisation today. It all stands in how confident a person is. You want something, work for it. You need something, try and understand how you came to that conclusion. The power is all in your hands. You don’t need a reason to be confident, your own person is the reason. You are the reason. You can’t expect for good things to come to you if you don’t treasure what you already have. Things will come to you naturally, but that’s only if you realise your worth first. Don’t look for people to create that mindset for you, you must have that mindset premade the moment you meet someone new. By doing that, you give people strength to go look for their own selves. As humans, we must help eachother to enhance and contribute to the good of our own thinking. It’s nobody’s duty to make you feel like your worthy of a certain thing, nobody’s duty than your own. Flawn what you already have ladies or gentlemen. Work with what you’ve got and make it better. Help others do the same by presenting yourself with a confident attitude. You have reasons to be happy for, you have reasons to be confident about. Bless ya filthy soul.

You are allowed to break bonds when you feel like your mental and physical health are at sake. It all starts with the emotional attack, it might not be intentional, but it still happens and that one especially is the most dangerous one. You risk of remaining with traumas which most of the time are not easy to repair and they linger throught your whole life. The moment you start questioning yourself “is it worth talking to this person anymore” most of the time that is one red flag you should not ignore. It’s your intuition warning you about the dangers which might occur in the near future. Why is that: we know ourselves best, nobody knows us as we do. We must trust ourselves in such situations. No matter what might’ve kept you near that so said person in the past, it is in the past for a reason. They’ve played their role in your life and now it’s time for you to break loose. You’ve learnt what you could from that person and now it’s time for you to put it into action. Their truth doesn’t necessarily have to be your own truth. Even if it might feel wrong for you to stop interacting with a certain person which you’ve had your whole life, please remember, it’s just that thought that’s holding you back from making the final decision for yourself. It’s just the years and experiences that you’ve had in the past, the things your past self has done. Keeping near something that does you harm will scar you in the long run. It might feel okay to get hurt now, because you allow yourself to, but just know your future self will not be thankful for the decisions you take now. You are not the same person you used to be. Push aside everything that makes you feel like stays in front of your growth. Put yourself first.

Self-respect , self-worth, those concepts and beliefs are talked about way too little. They can also be abolished or can be constructed with the help of another person. As humans, we need to create bonds with eachother and we also have the attribution of making sure we choose the right people for us. Many people come and go. We can choose who stays in our lives and who has to go. We are not obligated to maintain a relationship with someone who does us more harm than good. When I say that, I am referring to every single person in our lives, no matter their nature. A stranger, an acquaintance, a friend, a relative, a close family member. We must help each other, not bellitle ourselves. We must come first, we have to take care of ourselves. We are not responsible for how a person is, how a person acts, we don’t know all the factors in their lives which influenced the way they are today. We are also not obligated to stand their behaviour. If our beliefs don’t align with one another, it’s okay, we have things to learn and things we can teach. What isn’t okay is blaming someone for not having the same beliefs as you do. It’s not your place nor right to accuse someone for such things. Tolerance is the key to peace, respect is the key to success. Take what you need and leave what you don’t.

Most people go around saying how they understand what love is, they’ve had past experiences of liking someone to death which eventually developed into love, but is that really true? Love is.. A confusing thing. Love doesn’t come and go, a crush sure does because it can be affected by many factors. It’s temporary. But love.. It remains. It forever lingers somewhere deep down inside of you. Love isn’t affected by time, space.. Things like that. Having feelings for how a person is and how a person thinks is such a beautiful concept. Especially when someone develops feelings for someone with a mental illness, the people who are struggling and can’t manage to take care of themselves. That is the purest and truest form of love because you managed to look past all of those “illnesses” which do not define the person. You’ve managed to understand them and you’ve taken in account the price for liking a certain person. But fuck, is it is really worth it? It’s pure, it’s beautiful, it’s unique, but why would you go head in with the risk of hurting yourself in the process? How much can a person take in before they get scared themselves? The people who are willing to sacrifice themselves like that.. They are worth treasuring.

Try and remind yourself of who you are. You’ve never lost yourself in fact, you just feel like you are lost in this very moment. You can pick yourself back up only if you allow yourself to do so. Don’t pity yourself, don’t call yourself names, don’t do the things you wouldn’t like to say to someone you hold close to your heart. You come first, you should always come first. Everything else, including people, they need to come second, easy. The moment you allow yourself to slip away, you can never have that assurance that someone will help you back up on your feet. If you don’t give a fuck about yourself, why should someone else do that for you? What duty does one have to take care of yourself when you don’t care about your own faith? Is that all you are? The emotions you are experiencing? You are so much more than that, but it’s up to you if you allow yourself to realise that or not. Look at yourself in a damn mirror and give yourself a pep talk, go and seek professional help if that’s what feels right. Do what you want. Fuck what others think, fuck maintaining a certain image in their eyes. Their perpection of you is not your problem. That perception has been influences by their own life experience which is 100% different than yours. Do. You.

If uni had taught me anything so far is that your hometown doesn’t have to be your home, your biological family doesn’t have to be your family. You are the one in control and you have the right to turn your life for the better. When you’re in a bad place, you feel bad, therefore you need to find out what works for you. No matter how much good someone had done you in the past, if in the present you feel small and you feel such a big burden on your shoulders whenever you are in contact with them, it probably means it’s time to cut ties off. You are not obligated to make a relationship work if the other side doesn’t do anything to improve it. The situation will get worse and worse and you’ll end up blaming yourself for the only fact that “you are not good enough”, “you should’ve tried more”, “you are the problem”. You are doing your best, you are putting in the effort, but remember: it is not your duty to play both roles in a relationship, no matter its nature and no matter with whom. Don’t risk your peace for the sake of repairing what has already been broken to pieces, maybe it’s meant to stay that way and it’s time for you to move forward in your journey. Work on your goals and get out of that negative space. Whatever it takes, make sure your happiness comes first. Get rid of whatever seems to stay in your path. Whoever or whatever does that is not worth your time.

Love is such a neglected feeling nowadays. It is not even worthy of its title anymore. People throw it left and right like it’s such an ordinary thing. It has became a thing. I long to know for how that feeling is, but it has been materialised. I don’t even know if it’s worth longing for anymore, maybe its time has passed. I wish for it to be a sacred manifestation from one person to another. Feelings you feel for someone… How can it be perceived as now? Is it worth wasting your time with it? It’s temporary. But then again, maybe some people are not made for that. The chemicals in their brains can’t work together in harmony in order to show or even understand it. Maybe, just maybe, love isn’t for everyone. But who the fuck am I to know that?

Unpopular opinion maybe, but if you constantly look at “9 signs you are in love”, “how to know if your crush likes you back”, you’re probably nowhere near the understanding of this emotion and you are longing and most probably lacking emotional support and human touch/interaction. I’m putting emphasis on the word love, as it is an emotion, a deep feeling that cannot be put into a box. When you actually like someone, you feel it in your gut and you don’t need any sort of reassuring that your feelings are genuine. Everyone experiences love differently, so trying to associate some generalised experiences for a larger group of individuals is literally impossible. Doing such things doesn’t serve any kind of justice to the feeling of “love”. When people are experiencing such strong emotions, they tend to not be able to think rationally anymore, hence all the stupid things we do when we find ourselves in that scenario.

I feel like this doesn’t get talked about enough.. Guys, manipulation is real, it happens. In order to prevent it, you have to stay true to the values you believe in and realise that your time is not a thing you can waste. Someone dear to my heart had once told me that when everybody tells you you’re doing something wrong, but you’re the only one denying it, most probably you have to take a step back and reflect on your actions. When it comes to love, love does not come with pain. It shouldn’t hurt and it shouldn’t make you question about the true intentions of your potential partener. Don’t let people step over you, you’re so much better than that. Don’t turn a blind eye to the ones that want only the best for you, break out of the illusion you live in. Whatever is written for you, it will come by itself. Don’t try and force something that obviously won’t work. Wake up.

Girls, this is a direct message for you only, but guys, if it resonates with you, that’s even better. Never settle. Never ever allow yourself to dwell in your own pool of emotions. That person you say you have a thing for, do you really now? Analyse what is going on, isn’t it that you are in love with the image you had created of that person? What does he/she have so special? Haven’t you developed feelings for a false interpretation you had created to comfort yourself when they’re not replying to your texts, when they’re out in public acting up with people when they know you might be around? Darling, listen close and pay attention, you are so much more than that. Fishes in the sea, there are plenty of them. Focus on yourself, focus on creating a better version of yourself and then go looking for that ideal you had created for yourself. We have standards for a reason, have you no respect for yourself? Listen to your gut, never do things that feel wrong. Please, spread kindness and spread love and it will naturally come back to you. Treat yourself like you would like to be treated. Don’t be so hard on yourself, baby girl/boy.